Your guide to gay bathhouse

Damien Chung
Jan 28, 2020
3 min read

One of the gay sauna I have visited in Bangkok

While I am no expert in gay bathhouse, cruise club, sauna, or any other names that we have for it, this is my experience and guide to a good experience.

First timer

I remember my first time was with a friend, I did not know what to expect however I have seen photographs before (but of course it is different when you are standing nearly naked in front of strangers (after all I am not much of a public exhibitionist when it comes to showing my insecure eggplant).

Going with someone you know make things less awkward, it would be even better if the person has prior experience so they can show you where to go and what to do.

Sauna, cruising, spa

Whatever your intention is, to relax in the spa/sauna, or have a group sex, or find someone you like to have sex, or go to a dark room to participate in anonymous sex, it is a safe space for you to have your dose of happiness.

Do note that many gay sauna has different facilities, some may have spa, some have sling room, BDSM room, dark room, depending on what you are after, you should seek out information through their website or social media so you have some idea before going.

Safe sex and hygiene

Most of these premises promote safe sex, some have condoms and lube in their private room, some don't but they are available in their front desk (which is a little weird and doesn't seem like a good place to place it), some premises list on their website saying they strictly enforce the use of condom (which I am unsure how they can enforce that either).

Either way, condom is a good way to prevent and protect you from receiving or giving STDs and HIV. With the rise of Prep (HIV prevention drug), the condom usage has dropped while STD rises (seems logical from a statistical viewpoint), I myself included use Prep and do participate in condomless sex, but do note that Prep is only effective to 99% of the people and of those who use it correctly.

Hygiene is very important, you wouldn't want to go into a spa bath with your sweaty or dirty hands/body and contaminate it. I have seen places where their bathroom was splashed with *poop* on the floor because someone apparently didn't use the loo to evacuate their bowel, and that can spread all over the premises when people accidentally step on it and not wash it off.

The 5 golden rules

1. No means NO!

2. Shaking their head or physical movement to suggest their disinterests or any other non verbal communication means NO!

3. Intoxication or drug use can impair a person's ability to judge, which means they are NOT giving you consent.

4. If you didn't get a yes, it's a NO!

5. You have the right to say NO!

Look, I have been hit on by guys that I am not interested in, and do not take it personally if someone rejects you because you wouldn't want to have sex with someone who you are not that interested in either.

Safety

In many pro LGBT+ countries, this is not an issue, but if you decide to visit one in an anti LGBT country, you will have to be very aware of your surroundings and be prepared for a possibility of arrest. There have been many cases that show police storming into these premises. Even though drugs and alcohol are not allowed inside, there's no security check which means they can be brought in. If you are consuming anything, it is best that you get it yourself instead of accepting drinks from strangers (or friends who you do not trust your life with).

This is also a safe space for gay men to have a relaxing time, or to have gay sex. Try to be open minded, it is fine if you are not interested in participating in those, or if you want to have an experiment in something, that can be a good place to do it.